Posted by SugaryCynic on Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Episode 1: Snidely Whip-Reed and The Evil Sandbox, Case of the Missing Jewell!! Good gracious bloggers are you in for some good ol' fashioned down-home hijackery! ...That sounded vaguely dirty somehow. Anyhoo, Sugary Cynic here, with Widow Lady Lisa to bring you (admittedly a bit late but you can go read my blog to hear me complain about why) THE DARING TALES OF SNIDELY WHIP-REED, EVIL BLOGGER-TYPE DUDE! Enjoy it. With your face.
Once upon a time Long, ago in a land far away Right Freaking Now, there is an eeevil place known only as “The Sandbox”, and in this place lives a diabolical posing doll named, Snidley Whip-Reed.
Sitting alone one day enjoying a cup of coffee, Snidley hatched an evil plan, his ID said to him, “Hey, you should take over the internet…but first, start with the blog-o-sphere.” He rather liked the idea, and asked his ID how he should do it. “Well, make a seemingly innocent place where people can come to laugh, but insidiously, you will be making followers of them all and they in turn will become your eeeeviiill army.” Well, they both had a good chuckle over it, and then Snidley did just that.
Unbeknownst to Snidely though, in the blog-o-sphere, there were two powerful heroines who kept watch over the beloved bloggers keeping them safe from all harm (and most spam), Super Cynic and Wonder Widow! Super Cynic and Wonder Widow kept constant vigilance over the blog-o-sphere (well, mostly, unless they had other crap to do…)
Snidley was so diabolically sneaky he created a place called “If I had a blog” which was code for: THE EVIL SANDBOX (of doom, but that is implied), and he began to gather followers, brain washing them to follow his evil, yet humorous ways.
Slowly, without anyone noticing…people that could be a threat to Snidely’s plan began to disappear! Do you remember Earnest Fout author of “I am a blogger and you aren’t”…of course you don’t…because Snidley made him VANISH! (Which is ok, because he was a jerk anyway.)
He began recruiting minions, his first were a group of widow fetishists, and then one day…it all began to go wrong!
In the midst of making bloggers vanish, he abducted one of the princesses of the blogging world..Princess Jewell, mistress of snark. She wouldn’t go quietly, and ultimately he was forced to keep her prisoner in his basement.
Thinking he had won he went back to his plans, but what he didn’t know was that Princess Jewell had a magic ring that she could contact the blogger super-heroes with to come and save her…
When the sign went into the sky, Wonder Widow and Super Cynic were called into action…But what would happen next could only be told in a monthly comic book…
Hope you enjoyed that...thing. Tune in next time for the pulse-pounding conclusion to:
THE DARING ADVENTURES OF SNIDELY WHIP-REED, WHO WE REALLY HOPE WILL NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY OR ANYTHING, BECAUSE HE'S A PRETTY COOL DUDE.