Technology Vs. Human Paradox

It is not a secret that I embrace technology. New and growing technologies are an integral part of my life and how I make a living. My business lives largely in a virtual world and is capable of instant international real time response…ooooh, that sounds “techy”.

There are limits though. For example:

I HATE texting! I don’t want to text, I don’t have time to text and in fact I have blocked texting from my cell phone. Call me!

I have bundled communications services that include a land line, Satellite TV, a DSL internet connection and cell phone services. I get it all from one company and I get one bill a month for all of it. I like the simplicity. However, over the past year or so, that bill has grown to the point where I have to consider cutting back and saving a little cash wherever possible. I shopped around and found a company that could give me all the same services for a savings of 45% (for the first 12 months). Why wouldn’t I consider this?

Well, here’s why...

TV: I watch very little television and although I currently have over 400 channels available to me, I watch about four or five of them. When I queried about the channel selection I found that 1 (one) of the channels is not included in the basic package and it happened to be the one channel I watch most often. “What do I need to do to get that channel?”. Answer, ”You’ll need to upgrade to the 8,495 channel package.” I replied, “Well, that’s not going to happen. I’ll learn to live without it.”

Then I come to find out that the basic internet connection speed is about half of what I have right now. I asked, ”What does it take to keep my current connection speed?” Reply, “You’ll have to upgrade.”

*Sigh*

“Okay, I want an apples to apples package with all of the services I have now. Nothing more, nothing less. What’s the bottom line?” He gave me a price that was still a considerable savings, and I started the sign up process.

After some back and forth, he asked me if I have any questions. “Just one. Do I have to change my email address?”

Now! I have had the same personal email address for 17 years. Frankly it would be easier to move my entire home to a new state with a change of address notice that it would be for me to even remember how many places and people I would have to notify about an email address change. It could take MONTHS!

“Is there any way around this?” I asked.

“No sir, I’m afraid not.”

“Then cancel the order.”

“But sir…the savings?!”

“It would take me months to fix that. No thank you.”

“Sir, what can I do to change your mind.”

Muwahahaha…he shouldn’t have asked that.

 “Welll…here’s the thing. If you call me back closer to Christmas at the end of the year, and if the offer is still good, here’s how you can fix it. Print up a really big stack of cards with my new email address and have Santa delivery one each to all of the houses he stops at. He can fix it in one night.”

*Cricket, cricket, cricket*

“Have a good day sir. Sorry I couldn’t help you.”

“Chicken!”

I’m just saying.