Me, My Id and Ego go Grocery Shopping…

Those of you who follow regularly know it is no secret I have daily out-loud conversations with my Id, Ego and Super Ego. They live inside my head and far be it from me to deny letting them out for air occasionally. I find this useful when grocery shopping because when strangers hear me having these conversations they tend to clear the isles…making my task faster and easier.

I have for the past couple of years been on a strict diet [for medical – not weight considerations]. I grew up on farms and the daily diet was meat and potatoes…or starvation. We did have lots of vegetables, but the guest of honor was some form of meat. My diet has eliminated beef, pork and poultry, and although I enjoyed them in earlier life, I don’t miss them so much now.

To recap Id=impulse, Ego=order and logic, Super Ego=morals and values, and again for this post Super Ego took the day off so there is no moral or value to this post.

There are times when Id and Ego don’t let me get a word in edge-wise.

And so we go shopping. Upon arriving at the grocery store…

Id: “Let’s head for the deli!”

Ego: “For what?”
Id: “They have hard Salami on sale today!”

Me: “No meat!”

Id: “They have day old jelly donuts half-off too!”

Ego: “NO SUGAR!”

Id: “Blow it out your ear, I wasn’t talking to you.”

Me: “Ego is right…no sugar.”

Id: “Damn! What about the salami?”

Ego: “No salami on the diet.”

 Me: “Hmmmm…I used to like salami.”

 Ego: “NO salami, you know better.”

Id: “Can we at least ask them to let us smell the salami…please?”

Me: “I need to get vegetables.”

Ego: “Good idea, but remember…only organic.”

 Id: “What difference does it make? Vegetables are vegetables! Just wash them.”

Ego: “It’s not what’s on them, it’s what’s IN them.”

Id: “Vegetable guts…that’s what’s in them...geeesh!”

Me: “Will you two keep it down, I’m trying to read labels here.”

Id: “With your @#$#%@# diet…labels are all you can eat!”

Me: “Quiet! I want to get a nice piece of salmon, but it has to be north Atlantic salmon…I need to ask about it.”

Id: “How do you know where the ##@$%^ fish comes from? They don’t package them with passports you know. With all the stuff you can’t eat it looks like we’re having bio-degradable dish soap and cardboard for supper…geez!”

We managed to get through the shopping trip and I stuck to the list which met with Ego’s approval. As the cashier was ringing things up I was packing the bags in the cart.

Me: “Hey, how about if you fellas help me load the cart?”

Id: “Pack your own @#$%# cart…I’m busy looking at the cashier’s boobs.”

Super Ego: “ID…STOP that! That's just RUDE!”

Id: “Oh yah…NOW you show up!”

I’m just saying.