Things I Think…or Think I Thought…

I have been accused recently of being among other things…”A total mentalist”, “Drinking questionable beverages”, “Being strange in a brilliant sort of way”…okay, that last one even has me confused. To that end, I let my mind do whatever it wants…I do my best to control my actions…I’m still working on the balance thing. Anyway…here’s some stuff I’ve done…or at least thought about.

I once filmed a tortoise stampede…it seemed to take forever.

I visited Australia once and got dizzy…my head spun counter-clockwise.

The Theory of Four (My brother and I figured this out)

In the English language if you convert a word into numbers and break it down, the answer is ALWAYS 4. Example:

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious = 34, Thirty Four=10, Ten =3, Three = 5, Five = 4.

Silly Blog Post = 13, Thirteen = 8, eight=5, Five=4.

And so on. Go ahead try it…I dare you!

I was invited to a party once. The invitation said, 7:00PM until “whenever”. After 3 weeks the hosts demanded that I leave. I replied, “You should have been more specific on the invitation.”

The shin is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Stress is waking up screaming…before you fall asleep.

Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

I find most small furry breeds of dog to be hypertensive, temperamental and a bit narcissistic. I like to think of them as "Shihtzu-frenic"!

Paradox defined - By the time I grow up, I'm probably going to be gumming food and wearing diapers again anyway!

GOOD NEWS! I let my hair down and ran through a sprinkler today! BAD NEWS - it wasn't in my yard and several small neighborhood children ran away screaming. I was arrested and as part of the sentence, I was assigned to jail-yard cleanup. GOOD NEWS – the jail yard had a sprinkler!

Observation: Everywhere is within walking distance...if you have the time!

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Another observation: One cannot be stranded on a deserted island! If you are there...it's not deserted!

Okay you get the picture…draw your own conclusions…just not in crayon…and not on the walls please.

I’m just saying.