By Way of Explanation…

Okay, in my last post I unleashed a math theory that my brother and I conceived in our teens…”The Theory of Four”. Apparently I didn’t explain it well and so I apologize and will explain further.

It boils down to an abstract conversion between words and numbers that always results in the number 4 (in the English language). For example:

The word Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (Mary Poppins…Google it!) has 34 characters. The words “Thirty Four” have 10 characters (spaces don’t count). The word “ten” has 3 characters, the word three has five characters, the word “five” has 4 characters…and there we are!

Another example:

“Silly Blog Post”. The words “Silly Blog Post” have a total of 13 characters. The word “Thirteen” has 8 characters, The word “Eight” has 5 characters, the word “Five” has 4 characters.

 So there you go. I congratulate Simon on getting it right away, but I know it is not for everyone. I can’t help myself, I think in numbers all of the time. I can do math in my head faster than I can use a calculator…just saying.

So now…here’s some other crap!

I have 2 dogs. Higgens is a 9 year old Wire Haired Dachshund, and Gibson is an 8 year old miniature short hair red Dachshund. They are my roommates…and my owners. Higgens got sick this weekend and I had to take him to the Vet. The result was that Higgy has early signs of arthritis and he is aging. It struck me that I had lost track of Higgy’s age and in fact he is 70 in dog years. Reality slaps hard. I have never spent more than a few hours away from Higgy since he moved in at 6 months old. When his mortality came into question…I think I aged 70 years. He’s my best buddy!

So now we come to today. Faced with the mortality of my buddy, I went out to start my car this morning and…NOTHING! The battery was dead! Not a serious problem except that I had an appointment for a photo shoot that I have been waiting a full year to get. Not good! Well, the battery won, and I had to reschedule the shoot which fortunately the client was okay with…phew.

Now…there is Mother! She is 85 (595 in dog years). Mom calls me 4-5 times a day during business hours to give me her “play by play’ activities of the day. I don’t mind so much. It helps me keep track of her while I am not there to help her.

She didn’t call this morning and that was okay because I was in the middle of the whole battery thing. I called her at 4:00PM and there was no answer. Okay, she outside, I’ll call back in a bit. I called at 4:30, 5:00, 5:15, 5:45. 6:00, 6:30, and 7:00…No ANSWER. I started to panic and was ready to head out the door to go to her house, and she finally called.
Me: “I’ve been calling for a while now, are you all right?”

Mom: “Why? I didn’t get any calls.”

Me: “Mom! I called at least 7 times. No matter, is everything okay?”

Mom: “ You didn’t call…you never call!”

Me: “Yes, I called. Check your caller ID. Are you okay?”

Mom: “you didn’t call.”

Me: “Are you okay!!!!”

Mom: “I’m fine, why?”

Me: “I was worried. I’m glad you are okay.”

Mom: “ You never call.”

Me: “I have to go now!” (Hang up)

***Ring***

Me: “Hello?”

Mom: “Oh…I checked caller ID and I guess you did call…5 times.”

Me: “Goodnight Mom…I’ll call tomorrow.”

I’m just saying.