I am Canadian! That is to say that I have deep roots in Canada. I spent every spare moment of my childhood on or around farms in rural Ontario, and 95+% of my living family calls Canada home. I currently reside in the northern suburbs of Detroit Michigan and have been an involuntary urban resident here for the past 20 years. I have often imagined that I would retire to Ontario and live my golden years as a hobby farmer away from the rush…well, there is still time.
The rub is that I am indeed a black sheep in my family.
Although as a child, I loved winter, especially in Ontario. This was an area that averaged more than 35 feet of snow per season…Woo-Hoo! I have however never liked ice skating! I was a klutz as a kid and unless the skates were strapped to my butt, I never got very far. Hockey…didn’t get it. I grew up when Gordie Howe, Alex Delvecchio, Sid Abel and Ted Lindsey were heroes in hockey. Watching Hockey Night in Canada on CBC was required entertainment every week. I was fortunate enough to go to a world series game of the Detroit Tigers in 1968 and shared a box with Gordie Howe and his 2 sons…I had no idea who they were…shame, shame!
I have a dear cousin who has been a best friend since our early childhood. I was planning a trip to visit his family for a few days. There was to be a multi day festival in his town that included a hockey tournament. He has played hockey all of his life. He called ahead to ask a favor.
“Ron, when you come up, pack a suit!”
“What for?”, I asked
“I want you to stand on the bench when we play [hockey], and pretend you are our coach.”
“I don’t know anything about hockey!”
“That doesn’t matter…we wouldn’t listen to you anyway!”
“Why do you want me to do this?”
“All of the coaches on the other teams are players as well. It’ll piss ‘em off if they see a coach on the bench. We want to rattle them.”
Well, I showed up at the tournament dressed in a suit and on the bench. He was right…it rattled the other teams. I stood on the bench watching the games and the only decision I made the whole time was in fact which suit to wear. At the end of the first period during one game, the shift came back to the bench and one of the players jokingly asked “Well coach, what do we do next?”. I replied “Heck, I don’t know…skate backwards more…it looks cool."
My cousin’s team swept the tournament (they expected to) and the local paper showed up to take a picture for the next day’s edition. The caption below the photograph listed the team members and at the end it read “Far right, front row, undefeated retiring coach, Ron Reed.” I was flattered, but truly hoped that it wasn’t my 15 minutes of fame.
The real point to this post is that my niece “BA” suggested that because of my Canadian roots, I should write about where my loyalties lie with the Olympics considering Vancouver is the host city.
Well, my feeling is that Canada should win the gold in hockey and curling for the same reason that the US should always win the gold in basketball during the summer Olympic…They OWN the sport! As for downhill and speed skating…maybe not so much for Canada…the truth is I have never known a true Canadian that was in that big of a hurry.
I admit I haven’t paid much attention to this winter Olympics because I find the American network broadcasts to be bias and boring. On more than one occasion, when a US athlete captured the bronze, the broadcast ignored “foreign” winners of the gold and silver to embellish accolades of the US accomplishment…shameful! My cable system doesn’t offer CBC as an option (no Hockey Night in Canada), so I am stuck with the self absorbed rantings of American broadcast dribble.
Go Canada! You’ve done yourselves proud.
I’m just saying.
The Dogs, a Snow Day, and a Cold
I apologize for the lapse in posts…I have been sick…and to that end, here is the rest of the story.
I don’t get colds often. I have had a cold twice in two years, but it was probably 8-10 years since the last one before that. Maybe I’m older, and it hits me harder, but this one kicked my butt! Aches, pains, coughing so hard my ribs hurt, fever and exhaustion. Oi! For the first time in 6 years, I took a sick day.
When Mariann was ill, she asked me what I wanted her to record for posterity; to preserve a legacy and to help me into the future. I recorded stories that she told, and we read diaries together that she had written as a teenager; pulling pieces of her life together to complete a story. I asked for recipes. Stuffed cabbage, bean soup, mac and cheese…all the comfort food she made best. Mariann also took care of OTC medications for ailments and I never asked, I simply took what she gave me and felt better. I wish I had asked about that! I got my first cold in a long time last year, which turned into a bronchial infection, which turned into pneumonia, and I wound up in emergency on a Saturday morning. Mariann would have stopped that in its tracks. While I was in emergency, I asked what I should take for such things. They gave me a list, which I immediately took to CVS, and stocked up. Of course, I survived, used up all of the medication, lost the list and moved on. I got another cold this week, had no medication and couldn’t remember what to take…that is a list I really should stick on the refrigerator door and leave it there.
The sick day that I took off also happened to be a snow day for many people in the area. Hundreds of school districts in 3 counties threw in the towel and closed for the day, as did many businesses. The caveat though is that business clients who took time off, conversely expected things done in their absence. “Really? You’re sick? You sound terrible! So…what about this afternoon…can you get it done by then?...You’ll feel better by then…right?” God bless clients…such simple children they are.
And the dogs. Higgens is a Daddy’s boy…always has been. When I am not feeling well, Higgy is always at my side. When I lay down to rest he is right there. Loyal, caring, and the good guardian. Gibson on the other hand is the poster child for narcissism. When I don’t feel well, he looks at me as if to say, “I hope you have someone coming over to feed me…and just because you are napping doesn’t mean I don’t have needs…you will not rest until I am pleased!” Gibby has the attention span of a house plant {or less} and I believe truly doesn’t understand anything beyond his own immediate needs. Gibby is an eight pound stomach with nostrils and an anus. After I fed him, he was content to nap with me…until he was hungry again, and well…yah, I got up to feed him.
Well, at this point I am day 6 into another lousy cold and the lessons I have learned are:
1. Keep the medicine list handy and the cabinet stocked
2. If you really are taking a day off…don’t answer the darn phone
3. The dogs…well you decided to have them…love them and learn to
live with their “eccentricities”.
4. Don’t get sick…EVER!
I’m just saying
I don’t get colds often. I have had a cold twice in two years, but it was probably 8-10 years since the last one before that. Maybe I’m older, and it hits me harder, but this one kicked my butt! Aches, pains, coughing so hard my ribs hurt, fever and exhaustion. Oi! For the first time in 6 years, I took a sick day.
When Mariann was ill, she asked me what I wanted her to record for posterity; to preserve a legacy and to help me into the future. I recorded stories that she told, and we read diaries together that she had written as a teenager; pulling pieces of her life together to complete a story. I asked for recipes. Stuffed cabbage, bean soup, mac and cheese…all the comfort food she made best. Mariann also took care of OTC medications for ailments and I never asked, I simply took what she gave me and felt better. I wish I had asked about that! I got my first cold in a long time last year, which turned into a bronchial infection, which turned into pneumonia, and I wound up in emergency on a Saturday morning. Mariann would have stopped that in its tracks. While I was in emergency, I asked what I should take for such things. They gave me a list, which I immediately took to CVS, and stocked up. Of course, I survived, used up all of the medication, lost the list and moved on. I got another cold this week, had no medication and couldn’t remember what to take…that is a list I really should stick on the refrigerator door and leave it there.
The sick day that I took off also happened to be a snow day for many people in the area. Hundreds of school districts in 3 counties threw in the towel and closed for the day, as did many businesses. The caveat though is that business clients who took time off, conversely expected things done in their absence. “Really? You’re sick? You sound terrible! So…what about this afternoon…can you get it done by then?...You’ll feel better by then…right?” God bless clients…such simple children they are.
And the dogs. Higgens is a Daddy’s boy…always has been. When I am not feeling well, Higgy is always at my side. When I lay down to rest he is right there. Loyal, caring, and the good guardian. Gibson on the other hand is the poster child for narcissism. When I don’t feel well, he looks at me as if to say, “I hope you have someone coming over to feed me…and just because you are napping doesn’t mean I don’t have needs…you will not rest until I am pleased!” Gibby has the attention span of a house plant {or less} and I believe truly doesn’t understand anything beyond his own immediate needs. Gibby is an eight pound stomach with nostrils and an anus. After I fed him, he was content to nap with me…until he was hungry again, and well…yah, I got up to feed him.
Well, at this point I am day 6 into another lousy cold and the lessons I have learned are:
1. Keep the medicine list handy and the cabinet stocked
2. If you really are taking a day off…don’t answer the darn phone
3. The dogs…well you decided to have them…love them and learn to
live with their “eccentricities”.
4. Don’t get sick…EVER!
I’m just saying
Sorry...this is just too funny...and sadly true!
I Just Wanted to Share This
When Mariann got her PhD in Psychology, as part of my gift to her for her hard work and well earned degree, I drew this cartoon. It's still funny...enjoy.
Click to enlarge.
Click to enlarge.
What He Thought…And What He Said
This is a purely hypothetical post…a composite of real conversations. I have this friend…he helps take care of his mother who is in her 80’s and lives alone. She is still reasonably sound of mind, and a little wobbly, but in good health otherwise. My friend has at least 3 conversations a day with his mother and visits her with some regularity to help fix things around the house, visit and otherwise check up on her.
The following is an excerpt from a typical daily conversation, during work hours, early in the morning:
Phone rings:
Him: “Hello [Company Name Here], this is [His Name Here], how can I help you?”
Mom: “Well, you’re at work?”
He thought: “Well Mom…you called me…and I answered the phone…so yah, I’m at work!”
He said: “Good morning Mom, how are you today?”
Mom: “I never know where you are.”
He thought: “I have caller ID...and yet I answered the phone.”
He said: “How are you feeling this morning?”
Mom: “Oh, okay. I just got back from the Kroger [grocery store]. I hate winter vegetables. They don’t have any taste. Where do they grow them…in the desert?”
He thought: “I need to water the plants in the office, they look a little droopy.”
He said: “We import the winter vegetables, they come from all over, and they aren’t as good as what you grow in your garden, that’s for sure.”
Mom: “They had really nice, fresh spinach, so I got a batch.”
He thought: “Oi, here we go…”
He said: “Mom, you know you aren’t supposed to eat spinach. It throws your Coumadin levels off.”
Mom: “Oh, that’s okay; I’ll just eat a bowl of cranberries to balance it out.”
He thought: “oh, sh#t! She’s going to spontaneously bleed to death in her sleep because she can’t stick to a simple diet.”
He said: “Mom…stick to your diet. You shouldn’t be self medicating with food and try to balance your Coumadin levels. The Doctor will figure it out you know.”
Mom: “Oh, he’ll never know!”
I…I mean he thought: “Oh sure, finding you curled up in a bloody mass on the floor from hemophilia caused by your arrogant denial of a proper diet to keep your levels balanced… just...because you were too stubborn…it won’t be pretty, and the Dr. WILL know…and it will be too late.”
I…I mean he said: “Just the same, stick to the diet. “
Mom, in perfect transition: “You never call you know!”
He thought: “Oh crap, here we go again. I called last evening. You told me you were going out to supper with [insert gold-digging boy toy who is not my father…I mean his father here].”
He said: “We talked last evening. You told me about your supper plans.”
Mom: “Oh, yah…amazing…you called me. Do you know how many Valentines cards I got?”
He thought: “No, but I’m about to find out…and please, please don’t start reading them all to me.”
Mom: “24 so far…let me read them to you…”
He thought: “Please! Somebody else PLEASE call me right now! No…just shoot me! Really…I’ll pay for the bullet!”
He said: “Mom, I’m coming down to see you tomorrow. How about if you leave them out and I’ll read them when I get there?”
Mom: “How long will you be here?”
I…I mean he thought: “It depends on how many cards I have to read.”
I…I mean he said: “I’ll come down mid-morning. I’ll read the cards; we’ll have a yak and go out to lunch. How’s that?”
Mom: “Okay, remember not to call me tonight because I have supper plans…but you better call in the morning!”
He thought: “Oh good…another reason to live?!?”
He said: “I’ll call you when I’m on my way out the door.”
Mom: “You say you will, but we’ll see.”
He thought: “I love you Mom…ohhhhh how I love you…you….I love you Mom (ten times real fast).”
He said: “I love you Mom. See you tomorrow.”
Now I, I mean my friend, really does love his mother and if she ever gets connected to the internet this post will disappear in a heart-beat! He wants her to be happy and comfortable. He would jump in front of a bus to save her…hopefully during off-business hours, and hopefully not a large or fast moving bus.
I’m just saying.
The following is an excerpt from a typical daily conversation, during work hours, early in the morning:
Phone rings:
Him: “Hello [Company Name Here], this is [His Name Here], how can I help you?”
Mom: “Well, you’re at work?”
He thought: “Well Mom…you called me…and I answered the phone…so yah, I’m at work!”
He said: “Good morning Mom, how are you today?”
Mom: “I never know where you are.”
He thought: “I have caller ID...and yet I answered the phone.”
He said: “How are you feeling this morning?”
Mom: “Oh, okay. I just got back from the Kroger [grocery store]. I hate winter vegetables. They don’t have any taste. Where do they grow them…in the desert?”
He thought: “I need to water the plants in the office, they look a little droopy.”
He said: “We import the winter vegetables, they come from all over, and they aren’t as good as what you grow in your garden, that’s for sure.”
Mom: “They had really nice, fresh spinach, so I got a batch.”
He thought: “Oi, here we go…”
He said: “Mom, you know you aren’t supposed to eat spinach. It throws your Coumadin levels off.”
Mom: “Oh, that’s okay; I’ll just eat a bowl of cranberries to balance it out.”
He thought: “oh, sh#t! She’s going to spontaneously bleed to death in her sleep because she can’t stick to a simple diet.”
He said: “Mom…stick to your diet. You shouldn’t be self medicating with food and try to balance your Coumadin levels. The Doctor will figure it out you know.”
Mom: “Oh, he’ll never know!”
I…I mean he thought: “Oh sure, finding you curled up in a bloody mass on the floor from hemophilia caused by your arrogant denial of a proper diet to keep your levels balanced… just...because you were too stubborn…it won’t be pretty, and the Dr. WILL know…and it will be too late.”
I…I mean he said: “Just the same, stick to the diet. “
Mom, in perfect transition: “You never call you know!”
He thought: “Oh crap, here we go again. I called last evening. You told me you were going out to supper with [insert gold-digging boy toy who is not my father…I mean his father here].”
He said: “We talked last evening. You told me about your supper plans.”
Mom: “Oh, yah…amazing…you called me. Do you know how many Valentines cards I got?”
He thought: “No, but I’m about to find out…and please, please don’t start reading them all to me.”
Mom: “24 so far…let me read them to you…”
He thought: “Please! Somebody else PLEASE call me right now! No…just shoot me! Really…I’ll pay for the bullet!”
He said: “Mom, I’m coming down to see you tomorrow. How about if you leave them out and I’ll read them when I get there?”
Mom: “How long will you be here?”
I…I mean he thought: “It depends on how many cards I have to read.”
I…I mean he said: “I’ll come down mid-morning. I’ll read the cards; we’ll have a yak and go out to lunch. How’s that?”
Mom: “Okay, remember not to call me tonight because I have supper plans…but you better call in the morning!”
He thought: “Oh good…another reason to live?!?”
He said: “I’ll call you when I’m on my way out the door.”
Mom: “You say you will, but we’ll see.”
He thought: “I love you Mom…ohhhhh how I love you…you….I love you Mom (ten times real fast).”
He said: “I love you Mom. See you tomorrow.”
Now I, I mean my friend, really does love his mother and if she ever gets connected to the internet this post will disappear in a heart-beat! He wants her to be happy and comfortable. He would jump in front of a bus to save her…hopefully during off-business hours, and hopefully not a large or fast moving bus.
I’m just saying.
Just to Let You Know…
I want my blog to be light and entertaining. I try very hard to simply tell stories, true but humorous. At times, I delve into rants, but I promise to minimize that.
In the meantime and having gotten more involved in the blogosphere, I have followed and enjoyed some very talented writers I want to share. These are in no particular order and any that I have found and left out, I will surely share them later…and by the way, there is an observational entry at the end…sort of like the chewy center of a Tootsy Pop. :)...and by the way I am grateful for all that follow and comment on my blog.
Bren Tierney is a native of Great Britain and a brilliant observationalist. He posts brief things that he has found that should make us all pause for thought. I love that although he has an obvious opinion, the storied approach he presents leaves it up to us, and I truly believe Bren enjoys the reaction more than the opinion. A very talented writer and surely worth following.
Marty Duane is a young man with a very strong faith, and a cool wit. I enjoy his inspiration, and admire his journey to finding his direction and faith. Marty is a very bright young man living in Iowa…in winter…and that is a challenge unto itself. You should visit Marty and be inspired.
AJ Poliquit is a teacher who spends spare time traveling on a budget. He has beautifully journaled his travels with words and images to share the starkness, beauty and history of the destinations visited. You will be inspired and educated on many exotic locations that AJ has taken the time to visit and share.
Lisa Brandel is the survivor of care giving for a cancer patient, her love and husband. Her pure and eloquent accounts of her experience and life are beautiful and will give you pause for thought on facing daily life and show you where strength comes from.
Martin Hawrysko is a bright young man fresh out of college who also happens to be a client of mine. His spontaneous posts are fun, timely and opinionated, and Martin is very good about sharing and responding to comments on his posts.
And finally , Joslyne Decker. Joslyne is a dear friend and a blogging machine! She is a brilliant writer who has been published, but moreover she is a stay at home mom with a bi-racial adoptive daughter, and all of her posts have to do with children, parenting, and being a MA Social Work grad from Smith College (very impressive) and she does it all with eloquence, elegance, and a savvy we can all learn from. Jos is a favorite…and she knows how to use power tools! I will add that if it weren't for Jos, I would never have gotten on FaceBook, and I certainly never would have started a blog. I enjoy them both and I thank Jos!
There are more, and I will share them later, but now for the chewy center…
I don’t watch much television, I am certainly not a gossip attracted type of person, and I limit my exposure to broadcast to an informational level foregoing slanted opinion…I like to think for myself. In the early morning on occasion when I am in the office, I will turn on the television as a background distraction, rarely listening. It is merely noise in an otherwise quiet place.
After the Golden Globe…or Emmy awards…I don’t remember I had the television on in the background one morning, and of course, the morning national news gave priority to what folks wore to the awards…because of course the awards themselves are meaningless. The thing that caught my attention in a peripheral sort of way was, with regard to 2010 fashion “Gray is the new black”. Really? This is a very slippery slope.
If gray is the new black…someone really isn’t trying very hard. Gray is a shade of black that gave up too easily. What shade of gray (there are many) is the new black?
As usual (and how I approach most questions) I thought this notion through too far. Does this mean that Crayola is faced with a massive recall? Must they replace all of the black crayons with the appropriate shade of gray? And next year when “blue” is the new black...which is actually gray, does Crayola replace gray so that now we have neither gray nor black? If this keeps up, we may all wind up being color blind because nothing is left.
I don’t pretend to understand or even care about global fashion, but eventually, we will need more choices.
I’m just saying.
In the meantime and having gotten more involved in the blogosphere, I have followed and enjoyed some very talented writers I want to share. These are in no particular order and any that I have found and left out, I will surely share them later…and by the way, there is an observational entry at the end…sort of like the chewy center of a Tootsy Pop. :)...and by the way I am grateful for all that follow and comment on my blog.
Bren Tierney is a native of Great Britain and a brilliant observationalist. He posts brief things that he has found that should make us all pause for thought. I love that although he has an obvious opinion, the storied approach he presents leaves it up to us, and I truly believe Bren enjoys the reaction more than the opinion. A very talented writer and surely worth following.
Marty Duane is a young man with a very strong faith, and a cool wit. I enjoy his inspiration, and admire his journey to finding his direction and faith. Marty is a very bright young man living in Iowa…in winter…and that is a challenge unto itself. You should visit Marty and be inspired.
AJ Poliquit is a teacher who spends spare time traveling on a budget. He has beautifully journaled his travels with words and images to share the starkness, beauty and history of the destinations visited. You will be inspired and educated on many exotic locations that AJ has taken the time to visit and share.
Lisa Brandel is the survivor of care giving for a cancer patient, her love and husband. Her pure and eloquent accounts of her experience and life are beautiful and will give you pause for thought on facing daily life and show you where strength comes from.
Martin Hawrysko is a bright young man fresh out of college who also happens to be a client of mine. His spontaneous posts are fun, timely and opinionated, and Martin is very good about sharing and responding to comments on his posts.
And finally , Joslyne Decker. Joslyne is a dear friend and a blogging machine! She is a brilliant writer who has been published, but moreover she is a stay at home mom with a bi-racial adoptive daughter, and all of her posts have to do with children, parenting, and being a MA Social Work grad from Smith College (very impressive) and she does it all with eloquence, elegance, and a savvy we can all learn from. Jos is a favorite…and she knows how to use power tools! I will add that if it weren't for Jos, I would never have gotten on FaceBook, and I certainly never would have started a blog. I enjoy them both and I thank Jos!
There are more, and I will share them later, but now for the chewy center…
I don’t watch much television, I am certainly not a gossip attracted type of person, and I limit my exposure to broadcast to an informational level foregoing slanted opinion…I like to think for myself. In the early morning on occasion when I am in the office, I will turn on the television as a background distraction, rarely listening. It is merely noise in an otherwise quiet place.
After the Golden Globe…or Emmy awards…I don’t remember I had the television on in the background one morning, and of course, the morning national news gave priority to what folks wore to the awards…because of course the awards themselves are meaningless. The thing that caught my attention in a peripheral sort of way was, with regard to 2010 fashion “Gray is the new black”. Really? This is a very slippery slope.
If gray is the new black…someone really isn’t trying very hard. Gray is a shade of black that gave up too easily. What shade of gray (there are many) is the new black?
As usual (and how I approach most questions) I thought this notion through too far. Does this mean that Crayola is faced with a massive recall? Must they replace all of the black crayons with the appropriate shade of gray? And next year when “blue” is the new black...which is actually gray, does Crayola replace gray so that now we have neither gray nor black? If this keeps up, we may all wind up being color blind because nothing is left.
I don’t pretend to understand or even care about global fashion, but eventually, we will need more choices.
I’m just saying.
The Weekend Warrior—DIY Plumbing and more…
I have always been a Do It Yourselfer. Electrical, appliance repair or replacement, home remodeling, whatever, I have always done it myself. Am I an expert? Probably not, but I am good, and I am not afraid! Plumbing however is the curse of the DIY guy. No matter how much you know, or what you try, when it comes to plumbing Water Wins!.
There are three simple rules to DIY home repair and improvement:
1. Planning
2. Preparation
3. Patience
The fuzzy part comes between rule 1 and rule 2. No matter how much you prepare, you have to plan at least 3 trips to The Home Depot…it cannot be avoided!
I woke up Saturday morning and went about my usual routine. Let the dogs out, start a pot of coffee, let the dogs in and feed them, pour a cup of coffee, listen to the news, and get on with the day…except that when I went to start the pot of coffee I stepped in a pool of water at the sink??? This is not good. I opened the cupboard door and looked in. The pipes were dry but the bottom shelf was wet. I looked up and noticed that the faucet was leaking from the handle. This is not good. I now have a weekend project.
I get rule #3. I am patient. I used to build furniture which took a great deal of time and patience. Leaking water requires a different sense of urgency. I’m just saying because I have never had a coffee table building emergency. I have however had many leaking water emergencies.
Not a problem. I will handle it. The leak was coming from a place in the faucet that told me a washer, or simple part would not do…I had to replace the whole faucet. Okay, no problem.
I know better! Planning, preparation…patience. Turn the stop valves off. Open the faucet to drain it. Remove and replace…yah, right! I turned the stop valves off and opened the faucet. There was still a steady stream of water coming out, but hey…I figured it would die down while I disconnected the feed hoses to the sink…not!
There I am lying under the sink contorted and loosening the feed hoses. The hot water feed is disconnected…no problem. The cold water feed is disconnected…and there is now a fire hose-like stream of water squirting EVERYWHERE. I capped it with my thumb and reached with my foot across to the dishtowel hanging on the refrigerator door. I got it! The idea was to put a tourniquet on the hose to stop the water. This in theory works on human limbs if you want to stop bleeding…it does not work on fiberglass re-enforced plastic tubing when you want to stop water flow.
I then extended a foot to open another cabinet to dislodge a Tupperware bowl, to catch the water while I ran downstairs to shut off another stop valve. The problem was that the water flow was quick enough that the trip to the basement had to be timed to a nicety so as not to flood the kitchen. Yah, well that didn’t work. By the time I got back up stairs, I discovered that first, the shut off wasn’t working and water was pouring onto the kitchen floor. The dogs were barking at the running water…I say “barking”, but I know they were really laughing at me.
I panicked and threw the junk drawer open to find ANYTHING that would plug the water hose. Oddly enough I grabbed a glass fuse that was the perfect size. Leak stopped, floor soaked, dogs barking [laughing], I made a list of what I needed from The Home Depot to fix the problem.
Small victory. It only took 2 trips to the store to fix the problem, and only took all day to get the job done.
In the end, the dogs got a good laugh, the sink got fixed, the kitchen floor had a good wash and I had my first cup of coffee several hours after I had finished, which kept me up and alert to write this post.
A lesson…don’t bite off more than you can chew…or at least be aware of what you are chewing on.
There are three simple rules to DIY home repair and improvement:
1. Planning
2. Preparation
3. Patience
The fuzzy part comes between rule 1 and rule 2. No matter how much you prepare, you have to plan at least 3 trips to The Home Depot…it cannot be avoided!
I woke up Saturday morning and went about my usual routine. Let the dogs out, start a pot of coffee, let the dogs in and feed them, pour a cup of coffee, listen to the news, and get on with the day…except that when I went to start the pot of coffee I stepped in a pool of water at the sink??? This is not good. I opened the cupboard door and looked in. The pipes were dry but the bottom shelf was wet. I looked up and noticed that the faucet was leaking from the handle. This is not good. I now have a weekend project.I get rule #3. I am patient. I used to build furniture which took a great deal of time and patience. Leaking water requires a different sense of urgency. I’m just saying because I have never had a coffee table building emergency. I have however had many leaking water emergencies.
Not a problem. I will handle it. The leak was coming from a place in the faucet that told me a washer, or simple part would not do…I had to replace the whole faucet. Okay, no problem.
I know better! Planning, preparation…patience. Turn the stop valves off. Open the faucet to drain it. Remove and replace…yah, right! I turned the stop valves off and opened the faucet. There was still a steady stream of water coming out, but hey…I figured it would die down while I disconnected the feed hoses to the sink…not!
There I am lying under the sink contorted and loosening the feed hoses. The hot water feed is disconnected…no problem. The cold water feed is disconnected…and there is now a fire hose-like stream of water squirting EVERYWHERE. I capped it with my thumb and reached with my foot across to the dishtowel hanging on the refrigerator door. I got it! The idea was to put a tourniquet on the hose to stop the water. This in theory works on human limbs if you want to stop bleeding…it does not work on fiberglass re-enforced plastic tubing when you want to stop water flow.
I then extended a foot to open another cabinet to dislodge a Tupperware bowl, to catch the water while I ran downstairs to shut off another stop valve. The problem was that the water flow was quick enough that the trip to the basement had to be timed to a nicety so as not to flood the kitchen. Yah, well that didn’t work. By the time I got back up stairs, I discovered that first, the shut off wasn’t working and water was pouring onto the kitchen floor. The dogs were barking at the running water…I say “barking”, but I know they were really laughing at me.
I panicked and threw the junk drawer open to find ANYTHING that would plug the water hose. Oddly enough I grabbed a glass fuse that was the perfect size. Leak stopped, floor soaked, dogs barking [laughing], I made a list of what I needed from The Home Depot to fix the problem.
Small victory. It only took 2 trips to the store to fix the problem, and only took all day to get the job done.
In the end, the dogs got a good laugh, the sink got fixed, the kitchen floor had a good wash and I had my first cup of coffee several hours after I had finished, which kept me up and alert to write this post.A lesson…don’t bite off more than you can chew…or at least be aware of what you are chewing on.
Potpourri
Some things never change
I had lunch with a client today. I love this guy. He is the most down to earth honest person I know right now. By his own admission when it comes to technology, he is dumber than a box of rocks…but he has an all purpose wireless phone that he only has to talk to. GPS, the internet, texting, phone calls…it’s all programmed to his voice. He spent a third of our lunch showing me how he could get everything up to and including the median anal temperature of an earthworm with voice commands.
In contrast, when I was growing up with my grandparents, their phone had a crank for a dial, the ear piece and speaker were separate, and he hated talking on the phone! The ring for their house was two longs and a short. Grandpa refused to answer. If the phone rang, Grandma would answer and if it was for Grandpa she would drop the ear piece and Grandpa would yell at the phone from the kitchen, “I can’t hear you! If you want to tell me something hang that blasted thing up and get your lazy rump over here!” Voice activated! Pretty much every time he did that the caller would show up at the door for a visit.
Silly things I rememberMy late wife Mariann was a brilliant Psychologist. She really was! Mariann helped so many people and took her work very seriously. I tainted her with humor and regularly turned Freud back on her…I’m so glad she loved me too.
One summer, we both leased new vehicles at the same dealership on the same day. She got a beautiful SUV with every button and bell known to human kind. We never did discover how many different ways it could fix your eggs for breakfast. I got a rag-top Wrangler, four wheel drive, and seat of your pants off-road monster…arrr.arrr.arrr. Mariann mildly approved, looked at me and said, “Here’s your mid-life crisis…enjoy it!”
Now, Mariann was never a car, or “stuff” person, but that night we sat on the front porch looking at the moonlight and I caught her smiling at her new gymungo all included SUV. She looked over at me…watching her and said, “You know…cars are phallic…and mine is bigger than yours!” I replied, “Okay fine, but this will certainly change the outcome of date nights you know!”
My FatherMy Father was and is one of the big heroes in my life. He was such a genuine, kind and very funny person. For years, maybe decades after I had grown up and moved away we talked 3-4 times a week. The famous routine was me calling and when he answered, I’d ask “What are you up to?” Dad would [always] reply, “The entire alphabet and counting to 10 without help…what are you up to?” I never got tired of that.
Gibson
Gibson is a red short haired miniature Dachshund. When we got him he was 9 weeks old, weighed 3 pounds and wasn’t 10 inches long. We tried to train him…goodness knows we tried. Stay in the crate, go outside to pee, and come inside to get a treat for a good job. The problem was [it has been fixed since] Gibby associated peeing with the treat foregoing the “outside” part. One day he came in the kitchen standing upright, hopping on his hind legs begging for a treat after he did his business…the problem was he had done his business in a corner of the living room. Mariann and I both watched him happily hopping waiting for his treat. Mariann exclaimed” Oh great! How much are we going to spend on carpet cleaning with him?” I replied “Well yah…but look how much we’re going to save on dancing lessons!”
I’m just saying.
I had lunch with a client today. I love this guy. He is the most down to earth honest person I know right now. By his own admission when it comes to technology, he is dumber than a box of rocks…but he has an all purpose wireless phone that he only has to talk to. GPS, the internet, texting, phone calls…it’s all programmed to his voice. He spent a third of our lunch showing me how he could get everything up to and including the median anal temperature of an earthworm with voice commands.
In contrast, when I was growing up with my grandparents, their phone had a crank for a dial, the ear piece and speaker were separate, and he hated talking on the phone! The ring for their house was two longs and a short. Grandpa refused to answer. If the phone rang, Grandma would answer and if it was for Grandpa she would drop the ear piece and Grandpa would yell at the phone from the kitchen, “I can’t hear you! If you want to tell me something hang that blasted thing up and get your lazy rump over here!” Voice activated! Pretty much every time he did that the caller would show up at the door for a visit.
Silly things I rememberMy late wife Mariann was a brilliant Psychologist. She really was! Mariann helped so many people and took her work very seriously. I tainted her with humor and regularly turned Freud back on her…I’m so glad she loved me too.
One summer, we both leased new vehicles at the same dealership on the same day. She got a beautiful SUV with every button and bell known to human kind. We never did discover how many different ways it could fix your eggs for breakfast. I got a rag-top Wrangler, four wheel drive, and seat of your pants off-road monster…arrr.arrr.arrr. Mariann mildly approved, looked at me and said, “Here’s your mid-life crisis…enjoy it!”
Now, Mariann was never a car, or “stuff” person, but that night we sat on the front porch looking at the moonlight and I caught her smiling at her new gymungo all included SUV. She looked over at me…watching her and said, “You know…cars are phallic…and mine is bigger than yours!” I replied, “Okay fine, but this will certainly change the outcome of date nights you know!”
My FatherMy Father was and is one of the big heroes in my life. He was such a genuine, kind and very funny person. For years, maybe decades after I had grown up and moved away we talked 3-4 times a week. The famous routine was me calling and when he answered, I’d ask “What are you up to?” Dad would [always] reply, “The entire alphabet and counting to 10 without help…what are you up to?” I never got tired of that.
Gibson
Gibson is a red short haired miniature Dachshund. When we got him he was 9 weeks old, weighed 3 pounds and wasn’t 10 inches long. We tried to train him…goodness knows we tried. Stay in the crate, go outside to pee, and come inside to get a treat for a good job. The problem was [it has been fixed since] Gibby associated peeing with the treat foregoing the “outside” part. One day he came in the kitchen standing upright, hopping on his hind legs begging for a treat after he did his business…the problem was he had done his business in a corner of the living room. Mariann and I both watched him happily hopping waiting for his treat. Mariann exclaimed” Oh great! How much are we going to spend on carpet cleaning with him?” I replied “Well yah…but look how much we’re going to save on dancing lessons!”
I’m just saying.
