Potpourri

Some things never change
I had lunch with a client today. I love this guy. He is the most down to earth honest person I know right now. By his own admission when it comes to technology, he is dumber than a box of rocks…but he has an all purpose wireless phone that he only has to talk to. GPS, the internet, texting, phone calls…it’s all programmed to his voice. He spent a third of our lunch showing me how he could get everything up to and including the median anal temperature of an earthworm with voice commands.

In contrast, when I was growing up with my grandparents, their phone had a crank for a dial, the ear piece and speaker were separate, and he hated talking on the phone! The ring for their house was two longs and a short. Grandpa refused to answer. If the phone rang, Grandma would answer and if it was for Grandpa she would drop the ear piece and Grandpa would yell at the phone from the kitchen, “I can’t hear you! If you want to tell me something hang that blasted thing up and get your lazy rump over here!” Voice activated! Pretty much every time he did that the caller would show up at the door for a visit.


Silly things I rememberMy late wife Mariann was a brilliant Psychologist. She really was! Mariann helped so many people and took her work very seriously. I tainted her with humor and regularly turned Freud back on her…I’m so glad she loved me too.

One summer, we both leased new vehicles at the same dealership on the same day. She got a beautiful SUV with every button and bell known to human kind. We never did discover how many different ways it could fix your eggs for breakfast. I got a rag-top Wrangler, four wheel drive, and seat of your pants off-road monster…arrr.arrr.arrr. Mariann mildly approved, looked at me and said, “Here’s your mid-life crisis…enjoy it!”

Now, Mariann was never a car, or “stuff” person, but that night we sat on the front porch looking at the moonlight and I caught her smiling at her new gymungo all included SUV. She looked over at me…watching her and said, “You know…cars are phallic…and mine is bigger than yours!” I replied, “Okay fine, but this will certainly change the outcome of date nights you know!”

My FatherMy Father was and is one of the big heroes in my life. He was such a genuine, kind and very funny person. For years, maybe decades after I had grown up and moved away we talked 3-4 times a week. The famous routine was me calling and when he answered, I’d ask “What are you up to?” Dad would [always] reply, “The entire alphabet and counting to 10 without help…what are you up to?” I never got tired of that.

Gibson
Gibson is a red short haired miniature Dachshund. When we got him he was 9 weeks old, weighed 3 pounds and wasn’t 10 inches long. We tried to train him…goodness knows we tried. Stay in the crate, go outside to pee, and come inside to get a treat for a good job. The problem was [it has been fixed since] Gibby associated peeing with the treat foregoing the “outside” part. One day he came in the kitchen standing upright, hopping on his hind legs begging for a treat after he did his business…the problem was he had done his business in a corner of the living room. Mariann and I both watched him happily hopping waiting for his treat. Mariann exclaimed” Oh great! How much are we going to spend on carpet cleaning with him?” I replied “Well yah…but look how much we’re going to save on dancing lessons!”

I’m just saying.